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Valentines Day Directions for the Lonely

from Calendar by Monk Turner

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These are the directions for how to use this song
For the one day of the year that you do not belong
Yeah this is how you make it through Valentines Day
When you're the only one without a bouquet

Now you'll need a few supplies
Just a thing or two
It's much cheaper than a therapist and you won't feel blue
Well you'll need a fast car, stereo and cow dung
A stink bomb and oh yeah a pregnant mom

Mount that stereo to the top of your car
Blast this song as you pull up to a bar
Find a nice couple
Assault them with dung
As you drive away be sure and stick out your tongue
Stick out your tongue
Stick out your tongue
Stick out your tongue

This is how you make it through Valentines Day
This is how you make it through Valentines Day
This is how you make it through Valentines Day
Yeah yeah yeah yeah

This is how you make it through Valentines Day
This is how you make it through Valentines Day
This is how you make it through Valentines Day
Yeah yeah yeah yeah

Find a young couple sitting on a bench
Ask you walk by ask what is that stench
If they look confused just walk along
Leaving behind a putrid stink bomb
Now this is the part you'll use the pregnant mom
She'll walk up to the couple saying
Look at what you did
Why are you with her when I'm having your kid

This is how you make it through Valentines Day
This is how you make it through Valentines Day
This is how you make it through Valentines Day
Yeah yeah yeah yeah

This is how you make it through Valentines Day
This is how you make it through Valentines Day
This is how you make it through Valentines Day
Yeah yeah yeah yeah

And those are the directions for how to use this song
For the one day of the year that you do not belong
Yeah that's is how you make it through Valentines Day
When you're the only one without a bouquet

This is how you make it through Valentines Day
This is how you make it through Valentines Day
This is how you make it through Valentines Day
Yeah yeah yeah yeah

This is how you make it through Valentines Day
This is how you make it through Valentines Day
This is how you make it through Valentines Day
Yeah yeah yeah yeah

Lookin for some dude named Monk he is a stalker

lyrics

These are the directions for how to use this song
For the one day of the year that you do not belong
Yeah this is how you make it through Valentines Day
When you're the only one without a bouquet

Now you'll need a few supplies
Just a thing or two
It's much cheaper than a therapist and you won't feel blue
Well you'll need a fast car, stereo and cow dung
A stink bomb and oh yeah a pregnant mom

Mount that stereo to the top of your car
Blast this song as you pull up to a bar
Find a nice couple
Assault them with dung
As you drive away be sure and stick out your tongue
Stick out your tongue
Stick out your tongue
Stick out your tongue

This is how you make it through Valentines Day
This is how you make it through Valentines Day
This is how you make it through Valentines Day
Yeah yeah yeah yeah

This is how you make it through Valentines Day
This is how you make it through Valentines Day
This is how you make it through Valentines Day
Yeah yeah yeah yeah

Find a young couple sitting on a bench
Ask you walk by ask what is that stench
If they look confused just walk along
Leaving behind a putrid stink bomb
Now this is the part you'll use the pregnant mom
She'll walk up to the couple saying
Look at what you did
Why are you with her when I'm having your kid

This is how you make it through Valentines Day
This is how you make it through Valentines Day
This is how you make it through Valentines Day
Yeah yeah yeah yeah

This is how you make it through Valentines Day
This is how you make it through Valentines Day
This is how you make it through Valentines Day
Yeah yeah yeah yeah

And those are the directions for how to use this song
For the one day of the year that you do not belong
Yeah that's is how you make it through Valentines Day
When you're the only one without a bouquet

This is how you make it through Valentines Day
This is how you make it through Valentines Day
This is how you make it through Valentines Day
Yeah yeah yeah yeah

This is how you make it through Valentines Day
This is how you make it through Valentines Day
This is how you make it through Valentines Day
Yeah yeah yeah yeah

Lookin for some dude named Monk he is a stalker

credits

from Calendar, released January 17, 2008
Valentines Day Directions for the Lonely
Words and Music by B.A. 'monk' Turner
Monk: Vocals, Programming
Mara Hernandez: Pregnant Mom
Recorded at Ye Olde Sexy Studio (Sherman Oaks, CA USA), Sogo Studios (Little Tokyo, CA USA) and PCH Studios (South Central LA, CA USA)

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Monk Turner Los Angeles, California

Over the last two decades, multi-instrumentalist Monk Turner has written and produced over 30 genre-defying concept albums. He’s been called “both daring and melodically gifted” by Music Connection Magazine for his unique approach to songwriting that takes influence from artists such as Elvis Costello, The Beatles, and They Might Be Giants. ... more

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